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| 1 | Each individual’s own perception of gender roles is as diverse as the cultural backgrounds we are immersed in. Due to the circumstances of my own background, I have developed a powerful desire to travel beyond the superficial surface of the self- absorbed modern lifestyle, into the vague and distorted remembrances of the past, to understand the roots of a prejudice against women that has dominated my culture, and tainted my life. |
| 2 | After reading an essay that tackles the conflict of gender discrimination in an utterly unique perspective, a male perspective, I have realized that the cultural environment prominent in each of our lives may be the underlying affliction that causes the disease of gender discrimination to continue to spread throughout our consciousness. Scott Sanders, in his essay “The Men We Carry In Our Minds,” discusses his personal perception of the conflict of gender equality that culminated in his mind after witnessing the oppressive lives of his surrounding class of people. He conveys that the men in this class had little choice over their own destiny in life. Their only means of surviving were as factory workers or soldiers. As a child, Sanders envisioned his own destiny as ultimately becoming one of these two stifling identities. He had envied women for what he perceived as a pleasant lifestyle, spent in the home raising the children, compared to the harsh lives of these men. Due to his early visions of gender roles prominent in his class, he was “slow to understand the deep grievances of women.” Even after he had matured, escaped his oppressive environment, and attended college, he was “baffled” at the concept of discrimination. In his lifestyle the choices of each gender were grim. He ultimately poses the theory of gender equality based on the distinction of class in our society. |
| 3 | The concept is compelling, and caused a deeply suppressed reaction of my own to slowly emerge to the surface of my personal views of the issue. In my solid belief, the issue of gender equality stems far beyond class, lying deeply in the diverse, entangled cultures that bind us together into common, broadly generalized identities. |
| 4 | In my family, and the enormous influence of the religion that became the cornerstone of our identity, the disrespect and demeaning of women was, in my eyes, the concrete upon which the values of my upbringing were built. The immersion of my family into their faith, and the corresponding culture-- which will remain nameless so as to not publicly defame what many hold dear-- instilled such early beliefs as the head of the women being the man, a women’s job is to raise the children and work in the home, and women are not to speak out or become involved in matters of the church reserved for its leaders, men. These common phrases were both believed and diligently followed. The scripture in the Bible that states women are the weaker vessel was taken literally by our religion. Therefore, though my family was saturated with their love for this faith to the point of blindness, in my own objective view, I felt in my soul that this was injustice. |
| 5 | Constantly being corrupted by the reasoning of my family’s faith has affected my current self-image, and moreover my aspirations. It was absolutely undesirable for a woman to attend a university to pursue a higher education, and to pursue a career of her own. For a long time when I was younger it was so discouraged as to become commonly regarded as forbidden. Women were to be married, serve in the ministry, and raise offspring, and that was the bottom line. This, in itself, was a problem that sickened my heart and outraged my mind. I had always possessed a desire to achieve a higher education, and to become my own definition of success. |
| 6 | This desire I held was viewed as an act of rebellion by the laws of my church, the very essence of my family’s faith, therefore, consequently the laws of my life. I was a problem that needed to be addressed (and I was addressed time and again) but somehow, from somewhere, I possessed a strength to listen to my own reasoning, unknown to the women in my culture. I debated, and I fought. What exactly was the problem with a woman wanting knowledge and success? Would she become a threat? Would she for once be able to judge for herself what it meant to be part of the female gender? or become (gasp!) independent of a man’s influence? |
| 7 | This faith, that apparently had no faith in the female gender, was deeply woven throughout my family. However, when it came my turn to be strung along, lost in the pattern, this harsh distinction between the glory and power of the men and the demeaning view of women collided with my own values, always somewhat fragile, constantly exposed to the condescending glare of the male rulers to the female conformists. The silent anguish hidden behind my mother and grandmother’s blinded faith stung, as I bled sincere grievances for the lost empowerment of my female ancestors. |
| 8 | I felt especially saddened for my mother, who made all of the life altering decisions for our family, kept us together and somehow strong through endless battles with the outside world that constantly threatened our precious inner world. Yet in the eyes of her church, the fortress for the center of her being, in the view of God himself, she was silenced. Not allowed to pray, or lead others in prayer, never able to feel the satisfaction of standing at the podium to instill in others the same values of her faith so deeply ingrained in her heart. The men who ran the spiritual organization did not hesitate to test her faith, or to instruct her to prove the genuineness of it in a morally corrupt and imperfect world. Her faith would continue to be investigated and interrogated without hesitation yet, in the church arena, the very outlet for the faithful to commune and express, it was silenced. She was restricted from voicing the same faith to the same degree as the men effortlessly commanded. |
| 9 | Witnessing this now permanent impression left me torn at the seams for an identity. I was a woman biologically, but felt that because I desired the honor and privilege of being a man in our culture, that in my heart, I must be one. I was a rebel for wanting to lead others in prayer, at the podium, or in any other aspect that was not a woman’s privilege. |
| 10 | Sanders mentions that as a child he envied women, and heavily resented becoming his perception of a man. In contrast I had envied the men of my religion, the only men in my life at the time. I envied their power and position of dominance, and heavily resented becoming the church’s identity of a woman. Furthermore, I bitterly resented being destined to be treated like a child by the domineering gender for the rest of my life. |
| 11 | I eventually gathered the courage to quietly break free from the confines of this spiritual cage that had locked up my power and privilege of being a woman for so many years. I finally began the relentless pursuit of my dreams. However, I emerged with a permanently altered perception of the male gender. I still feel a slight tinge of inadequacy blended with envy in my competition for the power I often imagine them possessing. |
| 12 | My own personal perception of gender, mingling with Sanders’ view based on his life experience, has caused me to conclude that the issue of discrimination against women stems far beyond the reaches of class distinction into our individual culture, evolved from our past, and in effect becoming a significant part of the essence of each individual through the impact of influence projected in our backgrounds. Its evolution is exclusive to each individual environment, and its values inherent in each personal culture. |
| 13 | Due to the sordid history of our entire existence, men and women seem to have been placed on separate roads to travel through life, though clamoring for the same concept of achieving their dreams. As women race to catch up to men in the pursuit of independence and dominance over their own lives, I begin to wonder why we can’t share the same road, pave the bumps and potholes of the past so that it runs smooth and even, and help guide each other in the right direction. Until then, we will never fully understand the personal journey each other is undertaking. In our fight for freedom, whether from class distinction or cultural influence, we will overlook the most valuable aspect of all: learning to understand and protect the identities of each other. Until there truly exists an equal identity of gender, we will never truly understand the definition of equality. |
| 14 | Hopefully someday our paths will meet at a crossroads. |
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Nominated by Dr. Bradley J. Stiles, Writing Instructor
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